Community Cafe: Exploring GV - CyberSmart Parenting

On the 9th of December, we met with parents of prepubescents and teenagers to discuss cybersmart parenting and how to equip children to deal with online violence and more importantly, foster an open environment where kids feel comfortable opening up to their parents when they do encounter violence.

The session began with a presentation by Anupama Srinivasan of Prajnya. Some of the issues that were flagged up during the presentation were:

• The online habits of both parents and children
• Usage in terms of time and content and information shared on online portals
• Cyber-bullying which includes abusive texts and emails, posting unkind or threatening images, videos or messages on social media websites, inappropriate image tagging etc..
• Where to draw the line between what is private and what is public. 
• The importance of digital reputations in securing higher education and career opportunities.
• The crossover from offline violence to online violence and its repercussions

In the discussion that followed, the following opinions and concerns were shared:

• Many parents had no idea what their children did online
• It was believed that parental controls were not really useful in regulating online behaviour and children found a way to bypass them. Other measures, such as a 9 PM ban on all electronics, no whatsapp after 9 and placing computers in living rooms or having an open door policy when kids were on the laptop were suggested.
• Related to this, a majority of the group felt that their children were far more tech-savvy than they could ever be and therefore felt that it might not be easy to navigate behaviour on a medium that they were unsure of. In this regard, a parent commented that while "they were internet immigrants, their children were internet natives".
• A recurring concern was the need to make sure that children approached their parents when they were being bullied or harassed on cyberspace.
• The prevalence of closed confessions groups on social media where people could post anonymous rumours was also pointed out and many parents felt that the school needed to take some responsibility in sensitizing children about online violence and mediating altercations.
• The issue of what to do when your child is the bullier rather than the bullied was also addressed.
• In case of online-violence, it was emphasised that victim-blaming in these instances would lead to further alienation and hurt. 
• Sexually explicit online content, cyber-stalking, victim-shaming and sexting were also touched upon.
• A small group of young adults who attended the session had this to say: They stated that while much of the information provided made the online world seem very bleak, parents should not broach the subject with their kids with panic or fear. That policing internet use and the fear of punitive action would lead children to find other avenues to get online and hide it from their parents. Rather than taking away their children's freedoms, it would be essential to have open, honest conversations about online behaviour.
• It was unanimously agreed that follow-up sessions with the kids as well as one with both groups together would be extremely useful to further the conversation.

A big Thank You to our GEM Rinku Mecheri, for being such a wonderful host!

Meet Our GEMS: Rinku Mecheri

The Blurred Lines Between Physical & Cyber Safety

by Meera Srikant

Rinku Mecheri is the founder of Chennai Volunteers, a social initiative that works towards enhancing awareness on the role of individuals in society.  It drives civic engagement by facilitating volunteers to make meaningful skill and time contribution to beneficiaries and NGOs in a sustainable and meaningful way. The organization facilitates the process of building a more supportive infrastructure for nonprofit organisations, and simultaneously enhance the experience of volunteers and create awareness on social issues. CV leverages the online medium with a dynamic web portal, where: volunteers can find various opportunities to share and care, members can find local/international partners and NGOs can share resources and exchange best practices, 24x7. Mecheri shares her reasons for being a part of the Prajnya campaign.

Why is this issue important to you?

In all the roles that I have adopted in my life till now – a young girl, a teenager, a professional, a spiritual seeker, a mother and, of course, an active volunteer for various causes, “safety” has always been an important part of my well-being quotient. It did not matter which part of the country I lived in or which corner of the world I travelled to, it has always been reiterated.

I see that the same holds good for the youth of today as well. Personal safety is an issue we all mentally tick off before we look at other aspects pertaining to them. In fact, it is more of a concern now, with the cyber world being such a big part of their lives. Cyber-bullying takes old-fashioned threats, harassment, and humiliation into the virtual world and allows people to attack each other quickly, persistently, somewhat anonymously from any part of the world. We keep reading of Internet predators, identity theft, phishing but they are words we have limited knowledge. In such a scenario, how do I protect my young teenager from a click-happy habit that is the norm today?

We need to be safe in our belief of being equal as a woman. And we need to be safe by having enough knowledge about the negatives of the cyber world. 

What is it you feel most strongly about?

Personal safety no longer pertains to physical safety alone. There is an added component of cyber safety that I feel has many grey spots that I may not even be aware of. When I venture out to work or volunteer into any corner of both worlds – real and virtual, I want to be safe. I also want the children and women I work with to be aware and, hence, safe.

Tell us about your activity and what you hope to do with it?

Chennai Volunteers is hosting a conversation on the topic "Safety in Equality" with emphasis on Cyber Safety for youngsters.

Planned as a dialogue with parents of teenagers (boys and girls), this promises to be an interactive session that will be led by the Prajnya team. We also have a special resource, Ms. Ruchi Mohunta, who will actively moderate this session for us. She brings with her, years of experience in teaching, counselling and enhancing leadership skills of young teenagers.

Three things you would suggest to keep these individual actions going.

While this is the first step, I feel we need to expand the reach of such discussions and keep them going. We would then be able to enhance awareness and maybe even help some youngsters who have been victimized. My immediate focus area would be the volunteers we work with.