The following is the CDH hospital, Illinois checklist for abuse...
Emotional Abuse
- Frequently blames or criticizes you
- Calls you names
- Ridicules your beliefs, religion, race class or sexual preference
- Blames you for "causing" the abuse
- Ridicules/makes bad remarks about your gender
- Criticizes or threatens to hurt your family or friends
- Isolates you from your family and friends
- Abuses animals
- Tries to keep you from doing something you wanted to do
- Is angry if you pay too much attention to someone or something else (children, friends, school, etc.)
- Withholds approval, appreciation or affection
- Humiliates you
- Becomes angry if meals or housework are not done to his/her liking
- Makes contradictory demands
- Does not include you in important decisions
- Does not allow you to sleep
- Repeatedly harasses you about things you did in the past
- Takes away car keys, money or credit cards
- Threatens to leave or told you to leave.
- Checks up on you (listens to your phone calls, looks at phone bills, checks the mileage on the car, etc.)
- Tells people you suffer from a mental illness
- Threatens to commit suicide
- Interferes with your work or school (provokes a fight in the morning, calls to harass you at work, etc.)
- Minimizes or denies being abusive
- Abuses your children
- Breaks dates and cancels plans without reason
- Uses drugs or alcohol to excuse their behavior
- Uses phrases like "I’ll show you who is boss," "I’ll put you in line"
- Uses loud or intimidating tone of voice
- Comes home at late hours refusing an explanation
Financial Abuse
- Makes all the decisions about money
- Takes care of all financial matters without your input
- Criticizes the way or amounts of money you spend
- Places you on a budget that is unrealistic
- Prohibits your access to bank accounts and credit cards
- Refuses to put your name on joint assets
- Controls your paycheck
- Refuses you access to money
- Refuses to let you work
- Refuses to get a job
- Refuses to pay bills
- Causes you to lose your job
Sexual Abuse
- Pressures you to have sex
- Pressures you to perform sexual acts that make you uncomfortable or hurt you
- Directs physical injury toward sexual areas of your body
- Puts you at risk for unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases
- Withholds sex or affection
- Calls you sexual names ("whore", "bitch", etc.)
- Tells anti-woman jokes or demeans women verbally/attacks your femininity or masculinity
- Accuses you of having or wanting sex with others
- Forces you to have sex with others
- Threatens to disclose your relationship when you did not want it known
- Forces you to view pornography
- Pressures you to dress in a certain way
- Disregards your sexual needs and feelings about sex
- Accuses you of being gay if you refused sex (for heterosexual relationships)
- Spreads rumors about your sexual behaviors
- Forces you or refuses to let you use birth control
- Makes unwanted public sexual advances
- Makes remarks about your sexual abilities in private or in front of others
- Rapes and sexually assaults you
Using Children
- Makes you feel guilty about your children
- Uses children to relay negative messages
- Uses children to report on your activities
- Uses visitation to harass you
- Threatens to take custody of your children
- Threatens to kidnap your children
Physical Abuse
- Pushes, grabs or shoves you
- Slaps you
- Punches you
- Kicks you
- Chokes you
- Pinches you
- Pulls your hair
- Burns you
- Bites you
- Ties you up
- Forces you to share needles with others
- Threatens you with a knife, gun or other weapon
- Uses a knife, gun or other weapon
- Prevents you from leaving an area/physically restrains you
- Throws objects
- Destroys property or your possessions
- Drives recklessly to frighten you
- Disregards your needs when you are ill, injured or pregnant
- Abuses you while you are pregnant
- Forces you to abort or carry a pregnancy
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