A report compiled by Nithila
Kanagasabai
6 December, 2013
While we have largely focused on women and gender violence in the past, we think it important to make visible and comprehend masculinities for a more rounded understanding of the issue. The discussions were an attempt to engage with the everyday performance of gender, and how this in turn plays out in the larger discourse of gender violence.
We twinned two important new
resources to inform the conversation at the Forum.
- A UN Study released in 2013 found that male violence against women was pervasive across Asia. Men were most likely to rape intimate partners and this largely came out of a sense of entitlement. However, as local patterns varied, it was possible to also find that not all men are violent. Context matters, the study underscored.
- Let's Talk Men 2.0 is a new film series aimed at drawing boys and men into discussions on gender and violence prevention.
1. Kesang Tseten’s Men at Work, a
film that looks at the workplace of boys and men;
2. Rahul Roy’s Till We Meet Again, which explores through the everyday of four men the experience of a changing Delhi and how it intersects with their marriage, children, families and work.;
3. Prasanna Vithanage’s With you, Without you a feature film on how a Sri Lankan married couple, one of whom is a Tamil and the other is Sinhalese, grapples with ethnic differences.
2. Rahul Roy’s Till We Meet Again, which explores through the everyday of four men the experience of a changing Delhi and how it intersects with their marriage, children, families and work.;
3. Prasanna Vithanage’s With you, Without you a feature film on how a Sri Lankan married couple, one of whom is a Tamil and the other is Sinhalese, grapples with ethnic differences.
Each
of the films was followed by a discussion. The following is a report of the
proceedings. We invited Anil Srinivasan to
anchor the discussions. Anil Srinivasan is a classical pianist educated at the University
of Southern California and Columbia University, New
York. Anil is passionate about music education for children cutting across all
strata of society. His work with schools is in association with Rhapsody –
Education Through Music. Anil speaks regularly on music and its effect on
human behaviour, organisational processes and related topics at various forums.
Rapporteurs for the
event: Prema Ravi, Bharati Kannan and Shyamala Sundararajan.
Why Do Some Men Use Violence Against Women and How Can We Prevent It?
The forum began with Dr Swarna
Rajagopalan introducing the agenda for the day and making a presentation on the
UN report.
The UN study of
10,000 men in Asia and the Pacific, found that
overall nearly half of those men interviewed reported using physical and/or
sexual violence against a female partner, ranging from 26 per cent to 80 per
cent across the sites studied. Nearly a quarter of men interviewed
reported perpetrating rape against a woman or girl, ranging from 10 per cent to
62 per cent across the sites. Men were interviewed across nine sites in Bangladesh, Cambodia,
China, Indonesia, Sri
Lanka and Papua
New Guinea. The study, entitled ‘Why Do Some
Men Use Violence Against Women and How Can We Prevent It? Quantitative Findings
from the UN Multi-country Study on Men and Violence in Asia and the Pacific’
was conducted by Partners for Prevention, a regional joint programme of the UN
Development Programme (UNDP), the UN Population Fund (UNFPA), UN Women and
United Nations Volunteers (UNV) programme in Asia and the Pacific. It asked men
about their use and experiences of violence, gendered attitudes and practices,
childhood, sexuality, family life and health.
Till We Meet Again
a documentary by Rahul Roy
89 mins|2013|India
In 1999 the film, When four friends meet,
ends with the promise that the four young men who are the main protagonists of
the film and the director will meet again in ten years. They do meet again in
2012 and the world seems to have changed in the years that have gone by. The
four friends are now married, have children and entirely new ideas like the
share market have made an entry into what was a working class resettlement area
of Delhi. The
documentary explores through the everyday of four men the experience of a
changing Delhi
and how it intersects with their marriage, children, families and work. The
documentary criss-crosses between 1998 and 2012 to set up a story that spans
more than a decade and brings us up close to the unpredictability of life as
well as continuities that belie any simple answers to the idea of the city, its
working populations, change and men.
When the four friends meet again…they share
with the camera stories from the past and their complicated present. Bunty, Kamal,
Sanjay and Sanju, best of friends and residents of Jehangirpuri, a resettlement
area of Delhi are trying to make their lives in a city that is no longer as
distant as it was in their teens…it has consumed them and they are now the
city, it’s everyday…their childhood memories of deprivation a source of
amusement for the children…marriage that fearful future is now their
present…relationships are no longer a romantic song sequence but an everyday
negotiation, a reality…violence always lurks round the corner…responsibilities
are not a romantic goal but a crushing detail…today is not yesterday…it cannot
be…and tomorrow remains uncertain.
TRAILER
Discussants
Tishani Doshi is a writer and dancer. Her first book of poems, Countries of the Body, won the 2006 Forward prize for best first collection. She was also the winner of the 2006
All-India Poetry Competition, and a finalist in the Outlook-Picador Nonfiction
competition in 2005. She works as a freelance writer and has worked with
choreographer Chandralekha. She
graduated with a Master’s in Creative Writing from John Hopkins
University.
K Hariharan has directed films in Tamil, Marathi and Hindi. He has also made
films for the Children’s Film Society. His 1982 Tamil film Ezhavathu Manithan won the
National Film Award for the Best Feature Film in Tamil and was nominated for Golden St.
George (Best Film) at the Moscow
International Film Festival. Currently, he serves as the director of L V
Prasad Film and TV Academy, Chennai.
Discussion Notes
Construction of
Masculinities in a patriarchal society: The discussion began with an examination of the
construction of masculinities in a patriarchal society. Normative conceptions
of gender mean that boys are socialised into a certain kind of masculinity at a
very young age. For instance, they are reminded often on that they are the
‘stronger’ sex, they cannot exhibit emotions freely, they must eventually
become the ‘providers’ and head a family. The film also throws light on how a
culture of violence against women is considered integral to this idea of
masculinity.
Imbrication of
different kinds of violence: The forum discussed the many kinds of violence that the
filmmaker had tried to forefront through the film. The violence of the city –
the harsh conditions that the protagonists encountered in their everyday lives;
the violence of capitalism – emasculation of men that happens within the family
when the man of the house fails to provide for the family, or sometimes even if
he is unable to meet the extreme expectations fuelled by a capitalist economy,
and the violence within a household. In fact, the UN study on masculinities
underscores this imbrication by reporting that a large proportion of the men
surveyed reported high work-related stress, depression and suicidal tendencies.
Class asymmetry
between the filmmaker and the protagonists: The participants in the forum were deeply
discomfited by the apparent class difference between the director of the film
(who also functions as the interrogator) and his subjects. While it was
acknowledged that the director has had previous interaction with the four men
(while shooting for When Friends Meet in 1999), it was felt that that
was not enough to bridge the socio-economic imbalance between them. Issues of
power equations and consent were discussed in detail.
Need to address
violence against women in the upper classes: The discussion then veered towards the media
discourse that emerged immediately post the Delhi gang rape case. Participants felt that
the popular discourse on masculinities always tended to focus on a certain
class on people and superficially link socio-economic conditions to the
propensity to violence. In light of recent events, with men like Tarun Tejpal
and Justice AK Ganguly accused of sexual harassment , the participants felt the
need to address the prevalence of violence against women in educated, upper
middle class households. The incessant profiling of only certain masculinities
under the rubric of gender violence, the tendency to speak of masculinities
only in relation to gender violence and the abject absence of other narratives,
the audience felt, needed to be redressed.
Entitlement: The discussants said one of the
most striking features of the documentary was the sense of entitlement that the men exhibited
towards the women in their lives. From making a silent wife answer the
questions of the filmmaker-interrogator, to giving her instructions about
everyday things, to even making decisions regarding birth control without
discussing it with her. This resonated with the findings of the UN report that
points out that the most common motivation that men reported for rape
perpetration was related to sexual entitlement – ‘men’s belief that they have
the right to sex regardless of consent.’
Resistance of the
women: The
participants pointed out that while the women in the film were subject to
violence, their resistance was also evident in small but significant scenes.
For instance, one of the women laughs uncontrollably when her husband claims
that he partakes in household chores; in another instance, an outspoken wife
clearly denounces her husband for not caring about her desires.
Men at Work
a documentary by Kesang Tseten
64 mins|2013|Nepal
The film looks at the workplace of boys and men
and in doing so becomes an ode to the remarkableness of the everyday. By its
framing of routine work settings of boys and men, the four distinct chapters of
the film become narratives of the making of the self and its relation to the
work space. A young male
domestic worker creates an
imaginary and magical world for himself, even while he attends to his lonely
daily chores; men in a motor
garage repair and refurbish
vehicles that have long seen their best days; boys
at a residential institution learn
the adult rituals of becoming Hindu priests; and young Gurkha men vie desperately to become soldiers in
the British army. With its intimate gaze of the ordinary, the film becomes
witness to the everyday rituals that make up the world of men.
TRAILER
Discussants
Raj Cherubal is the
Director-Projects for Chennai City Connect or CCC. At CCC, he has initiated and participated in
various projects on traffic, transportation and urban planning. Raj has written
and worked to promote decentralisation and good urban governance. He also focuses
on promoting economic freedom for entrepreneurs, especially the poor, such as
street vendors and others in the informal sector. Discussion Notes
Production of
masculinity: The
discussion began with an exploration of the condition of dominant masculinity.
The need to understand the different spaces that produce different
masculinities was articulated. The director, stating the objective of the
documentary, writes that he wanted to take a few situations and settings that
are ‘men-ly,’ that have the ‘smell of men’ and film observationally, allowing
action to speak. The four narratives that are covered include: a young male
domestic worker, men in a motor garage, boys at a religious, residential
institution and young Gurkha men trying to make it to the British Army.
Cycle of expectation
and conditioning: The
discussants felt that the film foregrounded the cycle of conditioning and
expectation that men were subject to in a patriarchal society. This, they felt,
was highlighted best in the part that dealt with boys in a religious
institution. The young age at which they are separated from family and even
that rare phone call home is time to discuss his progress in studies, the
near-complete absence of women in these spaces, the rigidity of the system and
the absence of a space for emotional learning were discussed. Methods of
training, control and discipline which are a part of the systems were also
debated; for instance, when a young Gurkha tells his interviewer -- a woman
from the British Army -- that he cannot think of anything that would make him
above-ordinary, he is reprimanded strongly for his lack of self-esteem. Thus
issues of religion, caste and colonialism play an important role in shaping
masculinities.
Relationships
amongst the men:
The film also focusses on highlighting the relationship that young boys share
with their male mentors. In most cases, this was a rigid, strict, relationship
with conversation limited to ‘work.’ There is almost always an underlying sense
of the young boys being bullied. According to the UN report 86% of the men
surveyed reported experiences of childhood emotional abuse and neglect. Though
the film does not tackle this issue head on, it remains a constant subtext of
the film.
Absence of women: The absence of women for most
part of the film is telling of the clearly separated realms the genders are
forced to occupy. Inclusion, and thereby de-exoticisation of a gender, it was
discussed, is an important step to bridge the assumed gender-divide.
Structural Violence,
Intersectional Violence: The film also addresses violence that is embedded in socio-cultural
practices and sometimes not even considered ‘violence’. The film also looks at
how different identities are woven together to form a complex matrix of power
and powerlessness; how religion, caste, capitalist economy, globalisation
interact with masculinities to produce layered identities and realities.
With you, Without you
a fiction feature by Prasanna Vithanage
90 mins|2012|Sri Lanka
When lonely, distraught pawnbroker Sarathsiri
(Sinhala) meets and marries the beautiful, enigmatic Selvi (Tamil), he thinks he
has finally found a way to put his past behind him. But a chance visit from an
old friend opens up wounds that threaten to tear open the barely healing fabric
of a mutilated nation coming to grips with the unspeakable cost of a thirty
year civil war. Will love help them cross the bridge? Or will the past continue
to colour the present?
TRAILER
Discussants
A S Panneerselvan is the Readers’ Editor at The Hindu and Executive
Director, Panos South Asia which has a presence in five countries and works in
three more with the help of local consultants. Mr. Panneerselvan, apart from
being a regular columnist, is also a journalism teacher and is an adjunct
faculty member of the prestigious Asian
College of Journalism,
Chennai. He has been covering Sri
Lanka since 1984. Travelling extensively all
over the island, his reports from Colombo, Jaffna, upcountry and
Ampara were widely reproduced in the Indian and international media. He has
presented more than 20 major papers on the question of devolution in various
national and international seminars. As an advocate of global nuclear
disarmament, he has written extensively on nuclear issues.Discussion Notes
Conflict and Gender
Violence: The
relationship portrayed in the film was discussed in the context of the conflict
situation in SriLanka. The power relations within a household that are
influenced by the conflict outside of it, the different ways in which this
power equation is reinforced time and again (when the man reminds his wife that
he saved her from getting married to an old man, dismisses her small joys and
exerts his power over her in business matters). Mr Panneerselvan said that he
was not being able to see the film without thinking about it as a Tamil who was
conscious about the war and what it meant. He talked about the peaceful idyllic
surroundings asking if they were chosen to obfuscate the violence of the
situation that obtained just a little while ago.
Multiple
victimisations: The
participants drew attention to the multiple victimisations that the female
protagonist was subject to. She loses all members of her family to the war, she
is viewed as a burden by the family she lives with, her husband thinks of
himself as her saviour and only later accepts that he had married her in the
hope of redeeming himself from his past.
Legal systems to
recognise gender violence: The panel also discussed the need for the judicio-political system to
recognise and address the various forms of gender violence that areas in
conflict are prone to.
Concluding Notes
Wrapping up the discussion the
participants suggested a few things that could take this conversation forward
1. Need to promote non-violent
masculinities from a young age
2. Need to broaden conversations about
masculinities to go beyond the rubric of gender violence
3. Need to have the conversation on
masculinities in varied settings
4. Improve communication between
different groups – men & women, young & old, between different classes,
between politico-legal structures and grassroot activists
5. Address male sexual entitlement
6. End impunity
Other Resources:
Interview with Prasanna
Vithanage, Director (With you, Without you) Dated 26, November 2012
In
Conversation with Kesang Tseten, Director (Men at Work) Dated August 24,
2013
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